In honour of Di - my mysterious lady friend.

A good friend has passed away.

I’m a bit sad at the moment as my good friend Di has passed away. She would say herself that she was, admittedly, an expensive lady but her unusual beauty and popularity always surpassed such silly monetary concerns.

She had a very special place in my heart and for those who know me and have never heard me speak of Di I’m sorry. Di was a very private lady, almost closeted, and we shared some intimate moments where she did her best to please me and I …. I’m sorry I’m welling up. Such friendships aren’t easy to discuss especially when her death came so suddenly. Perhaps it’s me… I didn’t always treat her as I should.

Maybe I can recall the happier times we had together, Di and I.

We would cavort together in every room of the house, even on the stairs. The bedroom was a popular spot with her and she could be dirty, even going under the bed on occasion. Personally, I always found it a bit cramped under there among the boxes and cat hairs, but she liked it. I could tell from the throaty noises she used to make that she was having fun. I’d have to say that her performance was exceptional and she had sisters who could also do what she did. Well, she was a model and they were too.

Di was with me for ten years and I remember the day she arrived and we first met. I couldn’t wait to examine her parts and got her going straight away. She adored my living room and we danced together at least twice a week in the early days.” Our special dance” we called it. Back and forth, Forth and back with an occasional backwards spin or flourish. Occasionally she’d  get a bit wayward and passionately try to grab hold of one of the throws on the settee and I would laugh and tug her away. We'd dance some more then she'd rest while I cooked in the kitchen. Despite her energy she was never very hungry. Oh the memories.

Then of late I knew something was wrong. Twice recently, in our favourite spot, the bedroom, she’d play up and be temperamental. I tried everything, and thought I was pushing the right buttons but little would persuade her to be happy. Then last week, I couldn’t wake her, there was no electricity between us, no spark. Gulp.

Goodbye Di the Dyson – the best cleaner I ever had. We shared some fine moments together. Sniff. I'll miss you. Blub blub. The carpets send their love.