Last Christmas.... I gave you my heart as it was all I had

Being on a very tight budget, as I am at the moment, I economised over my Christmas dinner which ended up costing me less than £5 this year. The posh salmon dish, a stuffed salmon portion with king prawns was purchased at work as a reduced item (originally £10 and reduced until £2.50) and the other ingredients were had for the remaining £2.50, including a bag of potatoes for 45p on the vegetable reductions sections. Two mince pies replaced the Christmas pudding. A bottle of red wine was given by a friend.

this lasted two days

 

On the run up to Christmas I was the humble and proud recipient of two free packages of tinned goods and other unexpected free treats from a Foodbank charity looking after people genuinely in need and I say a short prayer of gratitude each time I use any of the items I was given from people's generosity. I didn't actively request any of this help but I have found myself in dire circumstances since the government cut out my £120 per month Tax Credits. Only through a random conversation about struggling with travel costs to work did this salvation come about. When you are alone and have no  'other' person to help pay the bills then life can be very expensive and frankly, very difficult. I used the word 'humble' a little moment ago and this piece is truly humbling to write and to confess to.

I have severely cut down on casual beers and wines of late and have been keeping a personal booklet of expenditure to keep myself in check as I encounter each month and each month's spending challenges and have been actively avoiding withdrawing cash from the hole in the wall machines. Each tenner withdrawn becomes seen as a tenner heading towards being overdrawn on the bank account.

This run up to Christmas I felt terrible as I couldn't really justify buying and posting Christmas cards this year as each one would cost money.The additional burden of postage costs simply weren't there to be spent. When you have very little the thought of spending several times 70p on stamps can be very hard. The actual Christmas wishes however were heartfelt: the economical reality alas, not. Thankfully, I found some cards that I still had remaining from last year and economised by giving relatives a card to pass on to other relatives to save on postage. Some Christmas presents have been of a recycled nature dressed in a smart and cheaper charity shop Christmas paper. I have tried to take all these things as lessons to be learnt from and see the challenges as a positive step forward to controlling and improving my finances.

All in all, I have endeavoured to keep my attitude positive but sometimes it is hard as essential and practical  things break down and to replace them financially becomes ever more a big emotional and financial challenge. Being constantly stretched I have no savings to draw on to buy new and essential items. These unfortunately, disappeared in the two years I was out of work.

In the last three months my Dyson broke, my kettle broke, my laptop broke and my radio broke with the signal breaking up as radio signals went over to digital. I couldn't afford another Dyson so bought a cheaper model from Tesco; the laptop is vital in terms of communication and my writing so an interest free option was sought and found  but still a financial worry about keeping up repayments (then I had to get creative with various bits of software that would no longer work with the Windows 8 system.) Thank you to Rick and Janette for helping solve some of these problems.

Foodwise I am now being economical with what I have in the freezer and bargains that occur through thrift and  I am using what I have rather than buying more new stuff to add to the old stuff - except in real situations where I can grab a true bargain.

As 2013 starts I hope that my fortunes shall change and through fortitude and the monitoring of my monies I shall begin a slow improvement in my life. On the plus side I still have love and laughter to give and I still have food and I still have air to breathe. My deepest gratitude to my supportive friends and opportunities that occur through endeavour and chance. Plus hardship appears to encourage creativity and I would always encourage that in all. Myself included.