Amazon Kindle Store

Monday, 27 February 2012

The birthday boy thinks about ways of getting fitter.

Today my birthday age matches the year in which I was born. I am now 56 and was born in 1956. Only once will that happen in my life unless I survive to 2056. So happy birthday to me and thankyou to all my Facebook friends for your birthday wishes and thanks too to those who have sent cards and thanks to Rick and Janette who are taking me out for a meal tonight at Piccolino's in Nottingham.

I'm not a sporty person, you have to know that about me. At school I was crap at the egg and spoon race, skipping was a nightmare of  bad co-ordination, near self strangulation and savage rope burns and I almost broke an ankle in a rather rough sack race event when two of the fattest boys in the class for twelve year olds fell over in front of me ( I was third from last anyway) and I went arse over juvenile tit and spent two weeks off school getting familiar with constant bags of ice cubes around my practically frozen purple and blue coloured right ankle. The two fat boys, Toby and Terry Jenkins just bounced away without injury. At senior school I cried off all ball sports, was terrified about vaulting the horse, and jumping hurdles. I refused to climb the rope ladders due to a terror of heights and more rope burns and the only sport I excelled in was cross country running. I was surprisingly good at this and loved to splosh through wet fields and hidden amounts of dog poo and run down country lanes in willy exposing shorts and floppy green flash tennis shoes. Nothing better than a scolding hot shower to ease those muscle aches and wash away the mud from my skinny legs.  After school I got interested in cycling for fun and for a while followed the Milk Race and The Tour de France in the media if not on my bike itself.

Then the seventies arrived and me and mate enrolled in a Shukokai karate class for a while because we were big Bruce Lee fans and couldn't find a Kung Fu class in Derby at the time. We lived, breathed and idolised Bruce Lee and loved to watch the TV series, Kung Fu, too. The karate classes were physically tough and we didn't stay long. At home my Dad suggested I use his abandoned Bullworker to build up some muscle. I over did it and put my back out for the first time in my life.
Crossing the channel

hmmm, sexy shorts.

It wasn't that I hadn't been adventurous.I loved to go hiking for miles and, by my mid thirties, I'd been caving and sailed in a yacht across the English channel to Cherbourg and back and almost got the crew and myself marooned near the Isle of Wight. Later in life I took up Tai Chi and loved the slow exercise and only really finished the classes due to not being able to afford them, being out of work at the time.

Today I have been amusing myself by taking photos and thinking up ways of exercise that I could adopt to get myself fitter.
extreme ironing
weight lifting
indoor running on the spot
Spatula tennis
Horse riding
Skate boarding! This is the shot seconds before I fell off the skate board.
fell walking
hugging competitions
Men's Health magazine exercises
barefoot wet rocks walking

dry land swimming

And so back to my birthday. Thanks to Rick and Janette for a lovely evening out tonight. Fabulous company as always.


talesfromagarden said...

You are hilarious! Love your photos of various ways of getting fit and finally a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you!

Athina said...

LOL. Happy birthday, Phil.

Janette Jones said...

It's official, you're a nutcase!

Jean said...

Happy birthday Phil !!
I hope you have a lovely day and a great meal out with your friends.
And thank you for a brilliant post - very funny !! I thought the spatula tennis was the best !!

Gailsman said...

Glad you had a good birthday Phil. Pisceans obviously don't make very good sports people, as I'm rubbish at sport too. Don't even like it.

I remember being at school when they used to pick the football teams for PE. I was always at the end of the queue, just in front of the fat kid and the asthmatic.

Karen said...

Happy Birthday....I will join you in the "56er" club in 6 months, & i too am hopelessly unsporty. Though I'd join you in Spatula Tennis. Or maybe frying pan tennis, using ping pong balls. Love those old photos. Have loads of fun tonight. xxx

Dean said...

Happy Birthday Phil hope you had fun

Khushi said...

You are funny man! Loved the fitness ideas and the photos :)