Fat Boys

No, this isn't a diatribe against the overweight male. The venue today is actually called Fat Boys and is a caff where one might expect to encounter lots of baked beans on the board. Despite the sign outside I wouldn't really call it a deli in the true sense.

This morning I popped in for a cup of tea and a bacon sandwhich and wasn't disapointed. They had both! The bacon was collar bacon and much better than the stuff you buy from supermarkets and then watch as it leaks white 'stuff' in the frying pan.

So, I arrived about 10.30am and for five to ten minutes was the only one being served by the ladies who 'like to pinny' behind the small counter. The windows were running with condensation and the rivulets of water coursing down reminded me of my childhood in the 1960s living on a council estate (Chaddesden) near Derby. An inventive child, I used to invent races with various streams of water trickling down the living room window and get all excited as my favourite stream of water hit the windowsill first. Hey, who needs x-boxes when you can do that for free! Having a staring competition with the washing frozen on the line outside was second best. Them were tough times back then. Milk came in bottles, I'll have you know! None of this fancy carton nonsense. And now back to Fat Boys to see what's going on.

Two bus drivers came in on their break or after finishing an early shift and sat with their newspapers and mugs of tea. They seemed regulars and shouted across the caff to the women.

"Ave y'eard about Terry? E's got sack! Silly sod - fiddling he were" "Forgetting to give bus tickets and pocketing the money" "Ah knew e were up t'summat. Smiled to much".

Consternation all around. Teas supped gravely. Sugars applied liberally. Papers flapped dramatically. Clouds darkened overhead. Vultures hovered.

Softly in the background Elvis was singing on a cd smeared with greasy fingerprints and Beryl was cooing along as she made up the salad cob Bob the driver had ordered. "Are you lonesome tonight? Will you miss me tonight?" Bob shouted to Beryl. "Do you get lonely at night then Beryl?" Beryl blushed tomato ketchup red and replied. "Cheeky bogger, I nearly dropped your cucumber then!" The place erupts with laughter.

I finished my breakfast sandwhich and tea, said "ta ra" and nipped around to the corner to hastily write up my notes before I forgot. Some places are too risky to write in situ, you know.