Call it a kettle, ein wasserkocher, une bouilloire or en waterkoker, the thing that boiled my water for my morning cuppa is no more. Sunday morning it refused to switch on. I checked all that I could check including an attempt to claw open the plug with a hammer to change the fuse. DIY has never been my forté. It went in the bin after a solemn scattering of tea leaves and a prayer for dead kettles. Not once did I call that kettle black – even though it was. It had lived a good life. It had served me well. Its filament was fulfilled.
For a day I survived with a milk saucepan of hot water but needs must and I ventured out in search of a cheap kettle in order to – as the German language has it – cook my water. And so I went to the bright green hyper market world of...
Now I don’t know if you have noticed but kettles and the like all have names and it seems that the names have to be dynamic and oddly macho. Somebody in those marketing departments have come up with the following:
Metal wrapped –cool touch – mmm stroke it.
The Kenwood Stealth.
The Silver Montana.
Brushed stainless steel Dakota.
Tefal Quick Cup. ( the most expensive)
Illuminating Nevada Kettle
Black Jug Kettle
And the best name today was The Morphy Richards OPERA cordless.
If it hasn’t got a cord how does it connect to the electricity? Apparently, according to the blurb on the box, it whistles as it boils! Wow! Like Opera arias? Pavarotti as you pour? Carmen with me cuppa? And it illuminates! So what? I just want clean hot water for my tea or coffee not the English National Opera’s lighting rig on full blast. And relax…
No wonder there was a strangely out-of-place strip of Nurofen Express headache tablets by the kettle display. Simply choosing a kettle was proving a real headache. So, being cash strapped I went for the ASDA green box Smart Price special at £4.75. A bargain. And you know what - it boils the water. The Tefal Quick Cup also boils water and costs £52.85. I know which I prefer. But then there is the illumination aspect…
PS: I’ve worked out what cordless means too.